Monday, March 14, 2016

Dippity Doo, I've Got The Biggest Fascist For You

Scene: A large stage set up in a municipal assembly hall, Anywhere America.

A tiny handed Oompa Loompa enters from off stage, scowling, covered in sweat, his beady little soulless eyes scans the crowd for targets.

"What a great group we have today. My voters are the greatest, don't you think? Just great... I mean really. Not like those Muslims, those people want to kill us, really, believe me, that's what they all want. They want to kill you and your families. But not if I am in charge. We will drop so many bombs... the best bombs. Look, I know about bombs, I have the best people telling me about bombs and bombings and how things explode, and collateral damage... great amounts of collateral damage. We can kill them and their kids and family and that will end the problem, just bomb them all. And we won't let them in the country. We will ban all the Muslims until we can be sure they don't want to do us harm, which is what they all want to do."

He squints his eyes into the crowd and sees someone in a headscarf. He raises his hand and points into the crowd.

"Look we have an ISIS member in attendance today, haha. I'm kidding, I don't know, but look at her... obviously a Muslim. Remember 9-11? Remember Sacramento? She is like those people that attacked us, exactly the same, aren't you? GET HER OUT OF HERE!!! Rough her up a bit, no don't, if you do I'll pay your legal bills."

A violent group of men grab the woman towards the door, screaming racial epithets and striking her repeatedly.

"Good, great, good riddance. Now lets talk about the Mexicans. They love me, everyone loves me. And that is why they are gonna pay for the wall. I'm the best at building walls, just look at my buildings, they have walls, and they are the best walls. My wall will keep out all the rapists and murderers and drug dealers Mexico is sending here to take our jobs."

 He thinks of all the money he is making off his memorabilia he has shipped in from Mexico each day to his rallies and smiles.  He scans the crowd and raises his hand and points again.

"Speaking of illegal immigrants, I see one right there. YOU, Mexican... what are you doing here? Is this some plot to hurt me? Are you teaming up with ISIS to take me out? These people won't let that happen. I have the greatest people, they will protect me, they will take you out, they are the best."

A larger mob moves toward the location indicated and grab multiple people of indistinct heritage. They start dragging and hitting and kicking and screaming anti Latino slurs in a frenzy or joyous violence.

"Great, wonderful, that was necessary... we can't have people coming in here to take away our free speech or attack us for saying what we think.  Like those Black Lives Matter protesters... they are in league with the Muslim Brotherhood and the Black Panthers.. basically they are ISIS too. They want to leech off us. They want us to pay for everything while they get a free ride. Not like me, I'm the best. I make so much money, it's alot of money, I mean lots, you can't imagine how much I am worth. But, I see some of those BLM people in the back, we should do something about that, don't you think?"

He raises his minuscule hands and points his fairy like finger in the general direction of a group of Black Republicans gathered together.

"GET THEM OUT OF HERE!!! We don't need their kind here, you are the best, they are the worst. I'd like to punch them in the face for coming here to cause problems. I remember when they used to deal with protesters in much more strict ways. What do you think? Shouldn't we go back to the good old days?"

From the crowd "GET A ROPE!" "STRING THEM UP!"

From the stage "Yes, that's what we should do. Show them they can't treat us like this. Show them we mean business." very quietly "I'm kidding" gleeful deadly glinting in his eyes he thinks of the next group he can single out and how he can deny it.